HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY

This has been circulating around Facebook and thought of sharing it here to for my readers. Ah women, they always have a long list for men to follow.

 photo man_zps1be0e6f5.jpg
… photo not mine, I don’t own it.

1. Feed him

2. Sleep with him

3. Leave him with peace

4. Don’t check his phone (Msgs)

5. Don’t bother him with his movements So whats so hard about that ?

HOW TO MAKE A WOMAN HAPPY

It’s really not too difficult but…. To make a woman happy, a man only needs to be:

1. a friend

2. a companion

3. a lover

4. a brother

5. a father

6. a master

7. a chef

8. an electrician

9. a plumber

10. a mechanic

11. a carpenter

12. a decorator

13. a stylist

14. a sexologist

15. a gynecologist

16. a psychologist

17. a pest exterminator

18. a psychiatrist

19. a healer

20. a good listener

21. an organizer

22. a good father

23. very clean

24. sympathetic

25. athletic

26. warm

27. attentive

28. gallant

29. intelligent

30. funny

31. creative

32. tender

33. strong

34. understanding

35. tolerant

36. prudent

37. ambitious

38. capable

39. courageous

40. determined

41. true

42. dependable

43. passionate WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:

44. give her compliments regularly

45. Go shopping with her

46. be honest

47. be very rich

48. not stress her out

49. not look at other girls AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:

50. give her lots of attention

51. give her lots of time, especially time for herself

52. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes. BUT MOST OF ALL IT IS VERY IMPORTANT

53. never forget *birthdays *anniversaries *valentine *arrangements she makes. —

HEAR WHAT OPRAH WINFREY HAD TO SAY ABOUT MEN

It has been shared on Facebook a thousand times and I am sharing it here too so my dear readers can get an insight as to why men would stay or not. Enjoy!

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn’t want you, nothing can make him stay. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.

Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that’s not meant to be. Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can’t “be friends”. A friend wouldn’t mistreat a friend.

Don’t settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is. Don’t stay because you think “it will get better.” You’ll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better. The only person you can control in a relationship is you. Avoid men who have a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn’t marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently? Always have your own set of friends separate from his. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.

You cannot change a man’s behavior. Change comes from within. Don’t EVER make him feel he is more important than you are. Even if he has has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.

Never let a man define who you are. Never borrow someone else’s man. If he cheated with you, he’ll cheat on you. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you. All men are NOT dogs.

You should not be the one doing all the bending… Compromise is two way street. You need time to heal between relationships. There is nothing cute about baggage… Deal with your issues before pursuing a new
relationship. You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you. A relationship consists of two WHOLE
individuals. Look for someone complimentary…
not supplementary.

Dating is fun… Even if he doesn’t turn out to be Mr. Right. Make him miss you sometimes… When a man always know where you are, and you’re always readily available to him ~ he takes it for granted. Never move into his mother’s house. Never co-sign for a man. Don’t fully commit to a man who doesn’t give you everything that you need. Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

Scared of being alone is what makes a lot of women stay in relationships that are abusive or hurtful: Dr. Phil says… You should know that: You’re the best thing that could ever happen to anyone and if a man mistreats you, he’ll miss out on a good thing. If he was attracted to you in the 1st place, just know that he’s not the only one. They’re all watching you, so you have a lot of choices. Make the right one. Ladies take care of your own hearts… ❤

‎10 Ways To Add Sizzle To Your Love Life

A great article I snagged shared in one of friends’ wall.

1. Go on date nights.
“Couples should never stop courting,” says Lou Paget, a sex educator and author of Hot Mamas. Going on dates with your significant other can help reignite the spark and bring back joy to the relationship.
Pick a time and a venue, and consider it a treat for the two of you. Bring back the lust by revisiting spots you went to on your earlier dates. Make sure you take the time and dress up for your date. Nothing like seeing you all spruced up to make him feel wanted and naturally attracted to you. Also, leave the mobile phones out of your date nights (or at least stop constantly checking it); everything else can wait! “The key is to pay attention to your mate,” says Paget.

This is great but having two kids around this date seems impossible for us since we don’t have anybody to look after them for a while we are out for a date. Also we have had our first dates during courting stage in the Philippines and as much as I wanted to go back to the places where we went, that is another big impossible to do because it costs a lot of money, lol.

2. Wear his cologne.
You love how he smells, so why shouldn’t you be treated to that masculine scent all day long? Research shows that smelling your man is actually an aphrodisiac. According to researchers at the Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender and Reproduction, the scent of a man’s cologne can significantly increase a woman’s arousal. “[Smelling your man’s cologne] will certainly help put you in the mood,” says Cynthia Graham, Ph.D., one of the researchers.
So the next time you’re missing your man or if he is away for a business trip, dab a little of his favorite scent behind your ears. Chances are, you’ll be ready to pounce on him the minute he walks through the door.

I agree with this 100%. While we were still waiting for my visa to be done, we would be separated from each other for months so what I did is ask him of his shirt that he wore with his smell in it and  keep it with me every night…that somehow helped me a bit and made me want him more and more!

3. Keep the TV out of your relationship.
You’ve probably heard this many times, but we feel it still needs to be reinforced in all relationships: limit your TV time as a couple. Here’s why: A research from Purdue University reveals that people who chat while the TV is blaring look at their companions 36 percent less often than they do when it’s turned off. As result, your alone time with your partner is a less satisfying (and definitely less intimate). “With the set turned off, you’ll create more opportunities for conversation and be able to focus on your loved one as you talk,” says study author Glenn Sparks.

We do have our t.v/movie time but we also find time to just talk about things… as I’ve said in number one, we do have kids and finding that “couple time” nowadays is kind of difficult.

4. Laugh together.
According to a study in the journal Motivation and Emotion, couples who share a laugh were more satisfied with their relationships than those who didn’t. And when you are more satisfied with your relationship, chances are your sex life will also be more amazing. Explains Doris Bazzini, lead author of the study: “Laughing together builds a supply of good memories. You’ll call on it later when times get tough.”

Hmmmmmmmmm we still laugh together but rarely, lol…

5. Get rid of a negative body image.
Nobody wants to get intimate if they think they’re fat/ugly/undesirable/insert negative body image here. Many times, being negative about how you look can be a downer for any relationship. The key here? The faster you get rid of all that negative body image, the better it will be for your sex life. Laura Berman, author of Real Women, Real Sex, explains that your partner won’t see your areas as problem areas until you point them out. So make sure you stop putting yourself down in front of your partner and just enjoy his admiration for your body instead!
To take it a step further, why not indulge him by dressing the part? Kick off your baggy T-shirt and unshapely pants; instead, start wearing clothes that are flattering to your body! It won’t hurt to invest in a pair of lacy underwear to help you feel sexy underneath.

I am comfortable in my own skin. I mean I still consider myself skinny (towering a height of 5’1″ and 98 lbs.) after having two children although I admit my belly is kind of soft and flabby now. Well, in fairness he still says I look beautiful (in rare occasions) when I am dressed nicely for an important day out… most of the time though I am at home taking care of the kids and well… I look just ahhhhhhhhhhh plain housewife that doesn’t care what clothes I wear or comb my hair….

6. Set the mood in the bedroom.
Venue plays a part when it comes to a great sex life. So an overly cramped, messy and dull bedroom can fizzle out whatever desire you both have for sex. “If you can do anything to transform your bedroom into something new and different, that can make a big difference,” advises sex therapist Louanne Cole Weston.
You don’t have to give your bedroom an overhaul to achieve this. Do small things like light up candles at night or invest in mood lighting to set a romantic vibe, getting silk sheets (for that smooth sensation) and also removing the junk out of your room to create more space and peace within.

Arggsss! This is so hard to do especially the candle lighting thing because we do have very mobile kids here,  a 4 year-old and a little cruiser of 11 months old…. I wish to do this though when the kids are out of our house and on their own.

7. Go in for a hug.
Hugs can prove to be more than just comforting; it can also create a sense of connection and be a foolproof foreplay. Says Dr. Ian Kerner, sex and relationship counselor as well as author of She Comes First, “Studies show that a 20-second hug raises the level of the ‘cuddle-hormone’ oxytocin, which facilitates a sense of love and connection. It’s a way of bookending the day and entering the new chapter of the evening. Men need to be hugged three times as much as women to reach similar levels, so go for a full minute of hugging.”
The next time you see your guy, make sure you greet him with a nice long hug. Plus, being so close to you and touching your skin that way is a great way to get him wanting more.

Yes, we still manage to hug on his day off and when he comes home from work every afternoon. I think that’s the easiest thing to do with him and I am okay with just hugs without kissing.

8. Manage your stress.
The instant sex killer? Stress. Who has time to think about being intimate when you’re worried about everything else!
Be careful—letting stress take over your life will result in an unsatisfying relationship as well as sex life. Suggest Irwin Goldstein, MD, director of San Diego Sexual Medicine and editor in chief of The Journal of Sexual Medicine: “People are overworked and stressed. And they translate their overworked, stressed lives to a lousy sex life.”
Don’t want to fall into the rut of stress? Why not go away on a vacation with your partner. Being able to leave all that work behind will free up your mind to enjoy the time with your partner—whether out sight-seeing or in the hotel bedroom.

For me, we may be stressed in some ways but we don’t let it get in our sex life. If we feel like we are stressed then we skip a weekend without doing it then the next weekend will be more ooohhss and aaahhss, you know what I mean?

9. Eat your way to a better sex life.
Certain foods are known to help boost your sex life. So the next time you go grocery shopping, make sure you include these into your shopping basket:
Oysters and avocados. Both are high in dopamine, a neurotransmitter that triggers the part of our brain that recognizes reward and pleasure.
Fish. Contains Omega-3 fatty acids, which improve your cardiovascular health and increase dopamine.
Chili. Helps to kick-start your nervous system and gets the heart racing—perfect for after-dinner fun!
Almonds. Contain a high level of arginine, which helps to boost blood flow. Better blood flow means heightened sensitivity.

These are great foods that we usually eat except avocados because they are a bit expensive. Oysters I love the most but I can only eat them when we go out to a buffet restaurant. 

10. Stay in shape.
Physical activity can be a sure-fire way to keep things sizzling in the bedroom for a simple reason—the healthier you are, the better you look and the more confidence you’ll have in your body. Plus, it’ll help you enjoy sex even more. Says Sara Nasserzadeh, Ph.D. and co-author of The Orgasm Answer Guide, “Physical fitness absolutely affects the physical intensity and quality of sex.” Also, research shows that exercise can help increase blood flow and improve your orgasms. So go on, grab your partner for a run. You’ll enjoy the treat that comes after.

Oh I missed those times when we go to a high school track and run for an hour together. Things have changed here a bit and we’re busy so we might be running again someday. Also we do have an exercise machine waiting on us in the garage, once he’s done making the garage comfortable enough to do our exercise there then there is no reason for us to be out of shape anymore.

When You Know Your Marriage Is Over

When It’s Just Another Fight, and When It’s Over is such an interesting article I read today. Thanks to the original source, I am able to share some of the good advice when you know your marriage is over.

People have various reasons why they choose to let their long years of marriage go. If things go wrong, they often turn to divorce which I now understand deeply why. Both married couple should know when their marriage is over and by then, it is either they seek advice from therapists for marriage counseling or go the other way. Consider the following tips below if you are in this situation and I hope this help you a bit.

Time to End the Relationship?
And if so, how do you break the news in a way that does the least emotional damage? Marriage therapists offer advice:

• Peer into the future. Talk to a lawyer and an accountant, research what an apartment would cost, ask a real-estate agent to estimate a sale price for your house, says Susan Pease Gadoua, a licensed social worker who specializes in helping couples with relationship strife. ‘You will either become energized or depressed,’ she says, ‘and that will be telling.’

• Tell your spouse early. As soon as you start losing your commitment to the relationship, speak up, therapists say. ‘Bring up divorce when you still don’t want it,’ says Bill Doherty, director of the Minnesota Couples on the Brink Project.

• Do therapy on a trial basis. If you think your marriage could be salvaged, find an objective professional and agree on a trial period, typically six months to a year.

• Expect the worst. Anticipate that your spouse will be shocked and behave badly. Regardless, listen calmly—for more than one conversation—to give your spouse a chance to respond.

• Stick around. If you’re the one leaving, don’t move out or cut off contact too quickly. Some therapists even suggest continuing to live together for two to six months, if that’s what your spouse wants, to ease the transition, Ms. Gadoua says.

20 Romantic Things to Do in Small Spaces

Some people love to do crazy yet sexy things together. Read all these cute things that you can do together in small places and tell me how crazy are you if you have done some of these.

1. Go through revolving doors together
2. Take a road trip in a VW “Love Bug”
3. Have silly pictures of the two of you taken in a photo booth
4. Join her in the dressing room while lingerie shopping
5. Make love in restroom aboard a plane in flight
6. Relax together in a Jacuzzi
7. Make love in a closet at a friend’s party
8. Sleep spoon-style in a single bed
9. Squeeze into phone booths together
10. Camp-out in a tent together
11. Make love in the back seat of a car
12. Travel in a train’s sleeper car
13. Attend movie theaters that have “loveseats”
14. Sit side-by-side in booths at little diners
15. Make love in an elevator
16. Go on vacation aboard an RV
17. Hold a picnic in a tree fort
18. Make love in the back of a limousine
19. Take a relaxing bubblebath together
20. Make love in a sleeping bag

Relationship Tips

Follow the following tips and surely your relationship might last forever or will work out fine. I have one additional tip to this though to always respect each other no matter what.

Five surprising places to find love

ayme n johnny Pictures, Images and PhotosBy Susan Johnston

Love in the snow lane
For Marie Melsheimer, 35, love didn’t walk in; it slid into the back of her car during an icy winter in Bend, OR 17 years ago. “I was stopped at a stop sign and my car stalled,” says Melsheimer. “His truck slid into the back of my car and he broke my taillights and dented my bumper.” The guy offered to fix her car, so they exchanged phone numbers. She blames his inexperience with the icy road conditions for their fender bender, while he blames her car stalling. Regardless of who was at fault, Melsheimer says it was love at first sight. “I was on my way to my grandmother’s house,” she recalls, “and after leaving him, I arrived there to tell her I had just met the man I was going to marry.” True to both their words, he fixed her tail lights — and they married several years later.
A purr-fect match
Plenty of romances come courtesy of some trusty canine companions at the dog park. Without daily walks, though, cat owners don’t have a similar excuse to socialize. That didn’t stop Whitney Shore, 26, and her now-boyfriend from striking up a conversation at the vet’s office. “I was bringing one of my cats in after work on a Tuesday, and he was bringing in one of his cats, too,” says Shore. “I noticed him when he walked in and was pretty excited when he sat down a couple of seats down from me. We started talking and continued talking for the next hour.” Though he’d already left by the time Shore’s appointment wrapped up, the clever cat-lover pieced together details from their conversation and left a note on Shore’s car with his phone number. “We met for brunch that Sunday, which turned into us going to the Atlanta Botanical Gardens, which turned into dinner, which then turned into a movie,” she says. “All told, our first date was 10 hours… and the rest is history!”
Sparks fly at 30,000 feet
Scott Trosclair, 29, was flying to Oakland, CA when a girl with big, grayish-green eyes sat down in the seat next to him. Her name was Emily, he learned, and they struck up a conversation, chatting about his move from New York City to the Bay Area and the fact that they were both wearing Rainbow sandals. Though they talked for the entirety of the flight, Trosclair waited until the last second to ask for her number in the baggage claim area, just in case she turned him down. Fortunately, she didn’t — and four years later, Trosclair planned a surprise proposal on another shared flight. “We met flying from Orange County to Oakland, so I proposed on a flight going the opposite path,” says Trosclair. “When we landed, I had her brother, mother and her mom’s boyfriend meet up with us in a limo.” Since they met while traveling, the pair included some airplane and travel motifs in their wedding this past spring.
Tweet love
Even social networks designed exclusively for online conversation can lead to real-world connections. Just ask MoniQue Shaldjian, 24, who met her fiancé Mike at a Tweetup in Phoenix last year. “I had seen his Twitter handle in a retweet here or there,” she remembers. “So, I’m at this event, and I got a tweet from him that said, ‘don’t leave, I want to meet you.’” She went to shake his hand and he went for a bear hug. Later, they both went to a bar to chat, and the conversation flowed as if they were old friends. Although Mike didn’t ask for MoniQue’s phone number that night, they started following each other on Twitter and she texted him after seeing he’d tweeted his phone number to a client. Things took off from there. MoniQue says that she “never imagined” she’d meet her husband at a Tweetup, but their shared interest in social media has helped the couple to bond.
Connecting on a commuter train
Long train rides may seem like a waste of time for tired commuters, but Holly Johnson, 27, actually met her husband Jesse while commuting from Boston to Worcester, MA. “He said that he saw me in the window and thought I was pretty,” Johnson recalls. But she wasn’t looking for a love connection, so when Jesse asked to sit next to her, she answered: “I don’t know why people ask if they can sit next to someone else — it’s a free country.” Still, it’ a long ride to Worcester, so the two started chatting about politics and discovered they shared some similar viewpoints. Jesse offered Holly a ride from the train station, but she insisted on taking a cab instead. “I thought he was a weirdo stalker,” she admits. “As it turns out, he really was just being nice.” Holly reluctantly gave him her cell number, not expecting to hear from him. However, Jesse called the next day. Now, eight years later, they’re married and have a child together.
Susan Johnston is a freelance writer who has written for The Boston Globe, The Christian Science Monitor, Parade, and many other publications. She met her boyfriend online but loves hearing unusual “how we met” stories.
Article courtesy of Happen magazine.

6 habits that keep couples happy

If I read something that is worth reading, I make sure I won’t miss sharing it here on my blog so my readers will be able to read it too and hopefully apply it to themselves and in their marriage. So here’s another wonderful article that is worth your time folks. Enjoy!
Habit #1: Catch romance where you can
“You may start out with chocolates and roses, but the likelihood of being able to sustain that feeling with a busy schedule is pretty unlikely,” says JoAnn Magdoff, Ph.D., a New York City-based psychotherapist. Successful couples learn to build a bubble of romance at unexpected times — during their daily commute, while doing laundry — and in low-impact ways, whether that be a long, lingering smooch or just holding hands. In other words, the next time you hear yourself say “Oh, look, we’ve got 15 minutes to ourselves,” make use of it — that’s what keeps the spark alive.

Habit #2: Fight fair
Believe it or not, learning to fight right is an important part of keeping chemistry alive. Why? Because if you are constantly cutting each other down, it’s hard to feel mutually amorous. “There is no such thing as a relationship without disagreements,” says David Wygant, author of Always Talk to Strangers. “But if there is an understanding that your partner can come to you with any dissension without being attacked, you will have an honest relationship comprised of ‘open discussions’ rather than ‘fights.’” Debra Tobias, who has been happily married for almost 10 years to her husband Steve, agrees. “Steve and I have learned to listen to each other when we’re upset and we admit when we’re wrong,” says Tobias. “We also make a rule of never, ever saying ‘I told you so’ no matter how much we might want to say it.” The result is that their chemistry doesn’t wane because they never let their arguments escalate to a personal level. Focus on the issue at hand instead of throwing verbal punches.
Habit #3: Nurture your separate selves
Going off to your book club when your sweetie’s out golfing isn’t a sign you two are drifting apart. On the contrary, developing individual interests allows for a richer life as a couple. By taking little “couple breaks,” you gain a greater appreciation of the gifts your partner brings to your life and you have more to offer as well. “It’s very attractive to be independent sometimes,” says Magdoff. “You feel better about yourself and you’re less demanding of your partner when you’re together.” After all, taking some personal responsibility for your own well-being relieves the other person of the pressure to “provide” happiness — so go ahead and nurture some solo adventures. That’ll also keep each of you stocked with plenty of adventures to chat about, which also builds your bond.

Habit #4: Take on a project together
Separate interests aside, exploring new ground together is also important since it strengthens your history of shared experiences. Jo Smith and her husband of four years found this out when they committed to running their first 10K together. “We were training together, carbo-loading and hydrating together, running the race together and ultimately succeeding together when we both finished,” says Smith. “It brought a whole new level of closeness to our relationship because of the time we spent learning as a duo during this endeavor.” Couples who take on adventures together get a sense of daring and accomplishment that can really kick up their chemistry!

Habit #5: Don’t let your physical attraction for each other dwindle
No doubt about it, couples with healthy libidos have no problem keeping chemistry cooking. (That whole “couples’ desire for each other naturally fades over time” excuse? Not true.) The trick to injecting more electricity into a lagging love life has to do with trying new things — sure, it can be easy to work on tricks and techniques when you first meet, but people’s preferences can, and do, change over time. “In interviewing people on the topic of physical intimacy, it became clear that the couples who were the most satisfied were also the ones who were open to some experimentation,” says Catlett. This isn’t to say you suddenly have to become a wild thing, though. Even returning to the basics you may have abandoned along the way — lots of kissing and eye contact, for example — can make the usual encounter feel very different… and much more intimate.

Habit #6: Engage in some mutual admiration
In order for chemistry between two people to thrive, there needs to be mutual respect. “It’s about putting yourself in the role of an observer of your partner,” says Magdoff. “Watch them ‘perform’ — I’m not saying they need to do a song and dance for you — just pay attention to the everyday things that remind you why you find them so special.” Then, make it a point to lob compliments their way. “A good exercise is to occasionally create a mental list of the qualities you dig about your partner, and to occasionally share one of your thoughts with the one you love,” says Wygant. Because the reality is, you’ll always want to be around someone who thinks you’re fantastic.
Kimberly Dawn Neumann is a New York City-based writer whose work has appeared in such publications as Cosmopolitan, Redbook, and Fitness.
Lifted from its original source YAHOO MATCH

5 key skills to preserving a healthy relationship

I have been married to my husband for over five years now. Our relationship is stronger than ever before. We have had some hardships before and we were able to surpass them all. It is through adversity our love for each other is tested, thankfully we survived that it even made us see how we are as a person and as a married couple.

We have a gap of 17 years yet I see no age in our marriage, I see no color and I see no ethnicity. It is just so amazing how the two of us get along very well in almost all aspects of our lives although there are few misunderstandings sometimes. I owe a lot to my husband for he is such a good guy, a good provider, a very responsible and devoted husband to me and the best father to Jadyn. I am looking forward to grow old with him, nourish our relationship and cherish every moment spent with him and our children together in the future.

If you read this and wants to know some helpful keys on preserving a healthy relationship, read on. I snagged this from the internet to share it here to you all.

Be willing to forfeit: the win-win strategy
Disagreements are inevitable — as unavoidable as Tuesdays or the common cold. They don’t have to be acrimonious, though. And I’ve learned that in marriage the choice is often to win or to be happy. Being harsh and critical in an argument is only going to hurt feelings and alienate your partner. That’s fine if you want to rule the roost, but if you want to love and be loved, you’ve got to care for your partner’s feelings, especially when you’re fighting.

“When there’s a lot of goodwill, it’s amazing what you can say and still feel good about each other,” says Catherine Hastings, Ph.D., a licensed marriage and family therapist in Lancaster, PA.

Hastings sees couples become polarized in their disagreements, with neither person willing to yield. The problem, she says, “is the idea that there has to be right and wrong in an argument. And there really doesn’t.”

Get to the point, nicely

I can be a little sensitive sometimes, and not in the sweet and caring way. Usually in the don’t-talk-to-me-about-my-shortcomings way. Lots of couples struggle to discuss the big issues that can rend a marriage in two. Who wants to talk about money management, family relationships and child rearing (to name just a few) while you’re falling in love? These don’t come up easily when you’re sipping coffee and eating molten chocolate cake.

“People are not direct enough,” says Jane Barton, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist in Knoxville, TN. “Indirect communication can be really damaging.”

She says that couples need to find ways to discuss the touchy subjects before they get married instead of hoping that marriage will fix any conflicts. It won’t. You may find yourself legally and emotionally bound to someone with a wicked online gambling habit or who thinks children respond best to pain.

Take money habits, for instance. “With the economy the way it is and things in the news, it would be an easy thing to bring up on a date,” she says. You can also learn a lot by watching your partner. “Is she shopping at Barneys and really shouldn’t be?”

The point is not to criticize your partner and attempt to rein in his or her habits. You want to know if his or her decisions are in line with your values. If you’re honest with yourself about your needs, you’ll know if conflicts are on the horizon.

“Don’t take on the task of teaching a person or being anyone’s personal therapist,” says Barton. “Identify what you feel and share it.”

Recognize that there is an “I” in marriage
My wife and I are a team, talking, sharing and negotiating most decisions together. We’re individuals, too, though, and we don’t lose sight of that. We encourage each other’s goals and ambitions because we don’t feel threatened by them.

“Healthy relationships have room for that — his interests, her interests,” says Hastings. After all, she points out, “if you’re not able to address your own needs, no one else is going to do it for you.”

Be a copycat
Finding that mix of individuality and teamwork isn’t necessarily easy, but it’s essential. We simultaneously let each other be who we are while being influenced by each other. I had to learn to argue kindly, for instance, giving up the notion of the win. My wife somehow already knew that when we met.

John Gottman, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist who has studied relationships for more than 30 years, written several leading books about marriage and is the executive director of the Relationship Research Institute in Seattle, WA. According to Gottman, one of the key components of a successful marriage is that the husband allows the wife to influence him. While women in general tend to be influenced by men without much emotional difficulty, men are often resistant. A man who allows a woman’s ideas and attitudes to impact his own is creating an equal exchange within the marriage.

And, as Hastings points out, you should learn to appreciate the difference. Each of you has strengths and weaknesses. Learning to let the strengths come through, no matter whose they are, makes for a better team.

Be positive — it’s not just a blood type
One of my wife’s greatest strengths is a generally positive outlook. Allowing her to shape the spin on a situation isn’t always easy, with my undeniable knowledge that the world is ending. But slowly, over the course of our marriage, I’ve become willing to see through her eyes.

“People need to learn early on,” says Barton, “that there are always going to be problems. There’s always going to be stress, somebody gets sick or somebody dies, and that’s part of life.” Successful couples, she says, dwell on the good times and not on the bad.

SOURCE: YAHOO Seth Wharton is a writer who lives in New York City with his wife of seven years and their two cats. In addition to doling out invaluable relationship guidance, he writes fiction.

Ten Places To Find Men

I found this article on Yahoo tonight and I thought of sharing this on my blog so that single ladies get to read this and gain some ideas on where they can find men for sure.

I am married to the most wonderful man I have ever known in my life for more than five years and I can certainly say I got the right man. Although we didn’t meet in any of these places mentioned below yet I can somehow relate to some of these. My man is a handsome gentleman and mind you he loves fast cars (we both love going to custom car shows together with our baby), he loves doing manly things and Home Depot and Lowe’s are his favorite places to go. Not to mention, he loves working out (we used to go to the gym together too) as well as he loves dogs!

You single ladies out there, aren’t you glad you stumble upon this blog of mine tonight and is able to know what are those places you’d likely to find single men? Read on and start going to any of these places, who knows he is there waiting for you.


1. Eat Out

Busy, single men don’t have time to cook. This is why they need a girlfriend! Just kidding. However, when they are tired and hungry after work, they dine out at restaurants. So if you want to meet a new man, try a new restaurant at least once a week.

2. Join a Gym

Gyms are places where all body conscious men go to let off some steam. If you meet a man at the gym you can see what he really looks like when he’s all sweaty. If he looks good in gym clothes, he’ll look great in real clothes. People who work out are also much happier (translation: a better partner to be with).



3. Pay Attention To Your Pet

The sun is out and love is in the air. People are outside enjoying the weather. Take the opportunity to give your dog some extra attention and go to the park. If you don’t have a dog, borrow one. Many men think of dogs as soul mates (who else better understands their zest for the simple things in life?) and will often frequent dog runs. If a man sees a woman walking a cute dog, he will most likely start talking to her.



4. Fix Things

To me, Home Depot is the worst place in the world. I would rather sit in an icebox and freeze than go to an oversized tool shed. But, guys consider it their inner handyman Mecca. Men love fixing and building things, so Home Depot (or Lowes) stores are always filled with an array of manly men.

5. Start To Love Toys

Men love toys. The bigger the boat and the faster the engine, the more powerful the guy will be. The same way women love fashion shows, guys love toy shows. Car and boat shows are places where single men are like a flock to a shepherd. If you attend a car or boat show, pick up on the finer things in life (um, Ferraris anyone?), while meeting a man to drive it.

6. Wash Your Car

Speaking of cars, most men love their four-wheelers and they like them to appear brand new. It could be a rut (pun intended), but I’ve always dated men who are car freaks and I’ve been taken to car washes much too often. But while I’m there (bored to death), I’ve noticed that they were usually filled with men, and pretty hot ones sometimes. Head to a car wash and remember, your car can never be too shiny.

7. Be Tech-Friendly

True or false? Men are into electronics. All the men I’ve dated (or known for that matter) have proved this statement to be true. Men love technology and are always looking for new phones. If you want to meet a tech-friendly type of guy, frequent a Verizon, Sprint, or AT&T store.

8. Pick Up a Sport

Do you like tennis or golf? Well, start to love them both! Being active will boost your confidence and help you stay fit. Golf courses and tennis clubs are places that men go to with their friends. If you join one, you can better your game and meet new people.





9. Start Reading

Reading is a great way to escape your day-to-day troubles. Go to a bookstore and kill two birds with one stone – find a book and a brand new man. Some men love to learn and are always looking for reading material. If you’re browsing the same aisle, then you know you have something in common.


10. Get Cultured

Experience a typical New York moment by going to a museum. There are new exhibits opening all the time. If you meet a man at a museum, chances are he is interesting and cultured. You can also brush up on some art history while looking for that prospective boyfriend or husband.