#TBT: Ten Years Ago

Who would have thought that we could reach ten years of our relationship knowing that we came from two different worlds yet we get along very well despite of imperfections we have. This photo is my entry for Throwback Thursday on Facebook. I did not realize that it has been over ten years since me and my husband met until I saw this photo. This was taken during his first visit to the Philippines to see me 2004. With him is my then 4 years old sister.

This was also the day I turned 21 and the day he got on his knees to propose for marriage. I will never forget that day in my life. It was so significant and my first momentous event ever took place in my life. We will be celebrating our ten years of marriage on October. I am excited, I got a lot of unspoken words I need to write so that he will be able to know my thoughts and how I feel towards about our years of togetherness for a decade!

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The Highest Flattery I Received from my Spouse

I just subscribed to a Cosmopolitan magazine, I received two issues so far. I never thought this magazine could be this interesting because of their useful love, lust and sex tips/advice they provide to their readers. It is the only thing I am interested in, I am not into makeup or beauty products so I just skip the pages, lol.

I have been married for soon 9 years and I can say, I am happy with the man I’m with for this long. Not only we do have something special but also I say it, as a woman that we do have a good sex life. The fire is still burning after all these years. I am glad I have a husband who is healthy and keeps up with me although he is an older guy.

Anyway, looking at the magazine’s cover, you can tell how interested I am to learning new sex moves or anything that is beneficial to my marriage. I am married but that doesn’t mean I know everything already. I am open to learning new things when given a chance and through reading I gain new ideas.

Nothing is more heart-melting than receiving the highest flattery from my better half saying I am “so much better than a porn star”. And he said that right after our intimate moment together, awss! Haba ng hair ko day! After hearing those words I am confident being with him more than ever and will continue to please him as long as we’re together.

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A 10-Year Old Girl Who Thinks my Husband is Very Old

We have this neighbor whom Jadyn plays a lot every weekend. Her grandma lives next door and so she visits her when there are no classes. She introduced us to her friend, a ten-year old girl whom Jadyn became friends with over a short course of time.

One weekend afternoon, this ten-year old girl started a conversation with me while I was in the kitchen cooking for dinner. At first she asked for my age and I told her I am 29 years old. She then asked, how old is Jadyn’s daddy and answered her honestly, he is 56 years old.

Upon hearing that, she was like “that is very old!” with a disbelief expression in her face although she was smiling but not sarcastic or anything. It was just a plain innocent question she asked and when I gave her the answer, that probably startled her a bit.

I then explained to her that I prefer OLDER MEN because younger men or guys are screwed up. Older men take care of their family. And with that simple answer I gave her, she was kind of satisfied and contented of what she heard. I was pretty sure she understood  me for  after she heard what she had to hear, she changed topic and talked just like a normal ten-year old girl should talk.

…. and then I was left alone… saying, “hmmmmmmm that was interesting!”

Broken Marriage

I knew that wedding we attended six years ago wouldn’t last forever. I saw how sweet and loving the bride and groom were but at the back of my mind, their marriage wouldn’t last for a long time.

Six years later…. just yesterday the husband told me that the groom “used to be his friend” has several police records. He ran his name on his computer and there he found an ex-friend’s name arrested for hitting his wife, not just once but several records were found.

Their situation must be very bad for they are in the point of hitting and hurting each other. Where’s the love there? Screwed up people.

Eight Years Later

Dreams do come true! Sounds like a famous line on fairy tale stories but yes, dreams do come true. I am one living proof of it. Who would have thought that we’ve gone this far in our marriage? We have over come trials and obstacles of our life together yet we were able to surpass them all.

Before there were just the two of us… and eight years later, there are five of us! Two beautiful girls areAL added to our family and one female dog, lol. Below photos are our post eighth year wedding anniversary dinner. Sorry for the very late post, I have been so busy here…

In case you wanna know how our marriage is? STRONG, HAPPY and THE REAL THING…


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‎10 Ways To Add Sizzle To Your Love Life

A great article I snagged shared in one of friends’ wall.

1. Go on date nights.
“Couples should never stop courting,” says Lou Paget, a sex educator and author of Hot Mamas. Going on dates with your significant other can help reignite the spark and bring back joy to the relationship.
Pick a time and a venue, and consider it a treat for the two of you. Bring back the lust by revisiting spots you went to on your earlier dates. Make sure you take the time and dress up for your date. Nothing like seeing you all spruced up to make him feel wanted and naturally attracted to you. Also, leave the mobile phones out of your date nights (or at least stop constantly checking it); everything else can wait! “The key is to pay attention to your mate,” says Paget.

This is great but having two kids around this date seems impossible for us since we don’t have anybody to look after them for a while we are out for a date. Also we have had our first dates during courting stage in the Philippines and as much as I wanted to go back to the places where we went, that is another big impossible to do because it costs a lot of money, lol.

2. Wear his cologne.
You love how he smells, so why shouldn’t you be treated to that masculine scent all day long? Research shows that smelling your man is actually an aphrodisiac. According to researchers at the Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender and Reproduction, the scent of a man’s cologne can significantly increase a woman’s arousal. “[Smelling your man’s cologne] will certainly help put you in the mood,” says Cynthia Graham, Ph.D., one of the researchers.
So the next time you’re missing your man or if he is away for a business trip, dab a little of his favorite scent behind your ears. Chances are, you’ll be ready to pounce on him the minute he walks through the door.

I agree with this 100%. While we were still waiting for my visa to be done, we would be separated from each other for months so what I did is ask him of his shirt that he wore with his smell in it and  keep it with me every night…that somehow helped me a bit and made me want him more and more!

3. Keep the TV out of your relationship.
You’ve probably heard this many times, but we feel it still needs to be reinforced in all relationships: limit your TV time as a couple. Here’s why: A research from Purdue University reveals that people who chat while the TV is blaring look at their companions 36 percent less often than they do when it’s turned off. As result, your alone time with your partner is a less satisfying (and definitely less intimate). “With the set turned off, you’ll create more opportunities for conversation and be able to focus on your loved one as you talk,” says study author Glenn Sparks.

We do have our t.v/movie time but we also find time to just talk about things… as I’ve said in number one, we do have kids and finding that “couple time” nowadays is kind of difficult.

4. Laugh together.
According to a study in the journal Motivation and Emotion, couples who share a laugh were more satisfied with their relationships than those who didn’t. And when you are more satisfied with your relationship, chances are your sex life will also be more amazing. Explains Doris Bazzini, lead author of the study: “Laughing together builds a supply of good memories. You’ll call on it later when times get tough.”

Hmmmmmmmmm we still laugh together but rarely, lol…

5. Get rid of a negative body image.
Nobody wants to get intimate if they think they’re fat/ugly/undesirable/insert negative body image here. Many times, being negative about how you look can be a downer for any relationship. The key here? The faster you get rid of all that negative body image, the better it will be for your sex life. Laura Berman, author of Real Women, Real Sex, explains that your partner won’t see your areas as problem areas until you point them out. So make sure you stop putting yourself down in front of your partner and just enjoy his admiration for your body instead!
To take it a step further, why not indulge him by dressing the part? Kick off your baggy T-shirt and unshapely pants; instead, start wearing clothes that are flattering to your body! It won’t hurt to invest in a pair of lacy underwear to help you feel sexy underneath.

I am comfortable in my own skin. I mean I still consider myself skinny (towering a height of 5’1″ and 98 lbs.) after having two children although I admit my belly is kind of soft and flabby now. Well, in fairness he still says I look beautiful (in rare occasions) when I am dressed nicely for an important day out… most of the time though I am at home taking care of the kids and well… I look just ahhhhhhhhhhh plain housewife that doesn’t care what clothes I wear or comb my hair….

6. Set the mood in the bedroom.
Venue plays a part when it comes to a great sex life. So an overly cramped, messy and dull bedroom can fizzle out whatever desire you both have for sex. “If you can do anything to transform your bedroom into something new and different, that can make a big difference,” advises sex therapist Louanne Cole Weston.
You don’t have to give your bedroom an overhaul to achieve this. Do small things like light up candles at night or invest in mood lighting to set a romantic vibe, getting silk sheets (for that smooth sensation) and also removing the junk out of your room to create more space and peace within.

Arggsss! This is so hard to do especially the candle lighting thing because we do have very mobile kids here,  a 4 year-old and a little cruiser of 11 months old…. I wish to do this though when the kids are out of our house and on their own.

7. Go in for a hug.
Hugs can prove to be more than just comforting; it can also create a sense of connection and be a foolproof foreplay. Says Dr. Ian Kerner, sex and relationship counselor as well as author of She Comes First, “Studies show that a 20-second hug raises the level of the ‘cuddle-hormone’ oxytocin, which facilitates a sense of love and connection. It’s a way of bookending the day and entering the new chapter of the evening. Men need to be hugged three times as much as women to reach similar levels, so go for a full minute of hugging.”
The next time you see your guy, make sure you greet him with a nice long hug. Plus, being so close to you and touching your skin that way is a great way to get him wanting more.

Yes, we still manage to hug on his day off and when he comes home from work every afternoon. I think that’s the easiest thing to do with him and I am okay with just hugs without kissing.

8. Manage your stress.
The instant sex killer? Stress. Who has time to think about being intimate when you’re worried about everything else!
Be careful—letting stress take over your life will result in an unsatisfying relationship as well as sex life. Suggest Irwin Goldstein, MD, director of San Diego Sexual Medicine and editor in chief of The Journal of Sexual Medicine: “People are overworked and stressed. And they translate their overworked, stressed lives to a lousy sex life.”
Don’t want to fall into the rut of stress? Why not go away on a vacation with your partner. Being able to leave all that work behind will free up your mind to enjoy the time with your partner—whether out sight-seeing or in the hotel bedroom.

For me, we may be stressed in some ways but we don’t let it get in our sex life. If we feel like we are stressed then we skip a weekend without doing it then the next weekend will be more ooohhss and aaahhss, you know what I mean?

9. Eat your way to a better sex life.
Certain foods are known to help boost your sex life. So the next time you go grocery shopping, make sure you include these into your shopping basket:
Oysters and avocados. Both are high in dopamine, a neurotransmitter that triggers the part of our brain that recognizes reward and pleasure.
Fish. Contains Omega-3 fatty acids, which improve your cardiovascular health and increase dopamine.
Chili. Helps to kick-start your nervous system and gets the heart racing—perfect for after-dinner fun!
Almonds. Contain a high level of arginine, which helps to boost blood flow. Better blood flow means heightened sensitivity.

These are great foods that we usually eat except avocados because they are a bit expensive. Oysters I love the most but I can only eat them when we go out to a buffet restaurant. 

10. Stay in shape.
Physical activity can be a sure-fire way to keep things sizzling in the bedroom for a simple reason—the healthier you are, the better you look and the more confidence you’ll have in your body. Plus, it’ll help you enjoy sex even more. Says Sara Nasserzadeh, Ph.D. and co-author of The Orgasm Answer Guide, “Physical fitness absolutely affects the physical intensity and quality of sex.” Also, research shows that exercise can help increase blood flow and improve your orgasms. So go on, grab your partner for a run. You’ll enjoy the treat that comes after.

Oh I missed those times when we go to a high school track and run for an hour together. Things have changed here a bit and we’re busy so we might be running again someday. Also we do have an exercise machine waiting on us in the garage, once he’s done making the garage comfortable enough to do our exercise there then there is no reason for us to be out of shape anymore.

The Little Voice Inside Me

Yesterday when I was lying down in our bed trying to take a nap and  a few minutes my back hit the bed there was this little voice inside me just started talking to me about  being so nagging and yelling so much to my first born lately. That voice was scolding me that served  as a wake up call of the way I handle things around here especially the way I mother Jadyn. It made me realize that what I am doing  is not right.

She is four years old and I noticed she changed a lot this time. She used to be a good, loving, sweet child and really attentive to what mommy was saying, well she is still very sweet and good girl to me but the thing is she doesn’t listen. I didn’t  deal with terrible twos or threes until she reached this age. Most of the time she just ignore me or doesn’t hear anything to what I’m telling her and that upsets me. When she do that, I can’t help but raise my voice and yell at her really loud in order for me to be heard which is very very wrong and I am aware of that.

When in the mall or stores, she’d insist that I would buy her toys or whenever she sees things she likes. She wasn’t like that before. Although she insists but I don’t think it is as bad as other kids I’ve seen out there that they would throw a fit just to get their way.

Anyway, back to this little voice I had… I think it was God talking to me that I should try to minimize my yelling behavior because kids are great impersonator and hmmmmmm I can pretty much see that what I’m doing is being copied by Jadyn too. She now yells at chichang the dog and at her little sister too. Also, my husband commented on me yelling to our girl. He prefers quiet and I know it.

Eeewww I should stop this, it is very discouraging on his part. I am not like this before during our early years of marriage and I know if I won’t stop it, it will eventually set us apart or worse turn the marriage upside down. I remember two times already he told me I am becoming like my mother. My mother cusses a lot and yells at her kids all the time and growing up in our home with a mother like that IT FELT AWFUL. I don’t want to become like her in that way. Por Dios, I need to change my attitude and set a good example to my kids.

Don’t get me wrong though, I am a good mother so to speak and I take care of my kids, I love my kids with all my heart and for that I am willing to just take it easy when Jadyn tries to test my temper.

When You Know Your Marriage Is Over

When It’s Just Another Fight, and When It’s Over is such an interesting article I read today. Thanks to the original source, I am able to share some of the good advice when you know your marriage is over.

People have various reasons why they choose to let their long years of marriage go. If things go wrong, they often turn to divorce which I now understand deeply why. Both married couple should know when their marriage is over and by then, it is either they seek advice from therapists for marriage counseling or go the other way. Consider the following tips below if you are in this situation and I hope this help you a bit.

Time to End the Relationship?
And if so, how do you break the news in a way that does the least emotional damage? Marriage therapists offer advice:

• Peer into the future. Talk to a lawyer and an accountant, research what an apartment would cost, ask a real-estate agent to estimate a sale price for your house, says Susan Pease Gadoua, a licensed social worker who specializes in helping couples with relationship strife. ‘You will either become energized or depressed,’ she says, ‘and that will be telling.’

• Tell your spouse early. As soon as you start losing your commitment to the relationship, speak up, therapists say. ‘Bring up divorce when you still don’t want it,’ says Bill Doherty, director of the Minnesota Couples on the Brink Project.

• Do therapy on a trial basis. If you think your marriage could be salvaged, find an objective professional and agree on a trial period, typically six months to a year.

• Expect the worst. Anticipate that your spouse will be shocked and behave badly. Regardless, listen calmly—for more than one conversation—to give your spouse a chance to respond.

• Stick around. If you’re the one leaving, don’t move out or cut off contact too quickly. Some therapists even suggest continuing to live together for two to six months, if that’s what your spouse wants, to ease the transition, Ms. Gadoua says.

“Mama” Is Her First Word

Nothing is more flattering than hearing your baby’s first uttered word, “Mama”. Baby M can now say the word. Her dada must have taught her very well for she learned it very quickly at age 8 months. Babies usually find it easy to say the word, ‘pa rather than mama. Thanks to the dada for consistently teaching our baby M with the “mama” word.

It would be so unfair on mother’s side if the baby would call his/her daddy first before the mother for it is the mother that takes good care of her children, look after their needs, give them tender loving care and most of all it is the mother that attends sick children, works 24/7 without a day off, leave or compensation. But despite all these, it’s baby’s laughter that could pay back the mother of all her hardwork she’s done to her baby/kids.

Having A Man Around

How nice it is to know having a responsible man around that can take care of things such as doing the plumbing, fixing broken fences, washing cars, driving me to the market, mows the yard, working hard in order to support the family etc. makes me the luckiest wife in the world. I am glad I married this man whom I call Lalabs for he’s a hard working and handy man.

There are things in this house that only a man can do. I can do the cooking, cleaning the bathrooms, sweeping the floor, taking care of the girls, do the gardening but I can’t do how to fix the clogged drain. If it wasn’t the husband, I wouldn’t have a good drainage in the tub right now. For weeks, it was all clogged up and very slow… thanks to my husband for taking care of it. If the plummer gel didn’t work, he would hire a professional that would fix the problem…thank God it saves us from spending money on the plumber.