A great article I snagged shared in one of friends’ wall.
1. Go on date nights.
“Couples should never stop courting,” says Lou Paget, a sex educator and author of Hot Mamas. Going on dates with your significant other can help reignite the spark and bring back joy to the relationship.
Pick a time and a venue, and consider it a treat for the two of you. Bring back the lust by revisiting spots you went to on your earlier dates. Make sure you take the time and dress up for your date. Nothing like seeing you all spruced up to make him feel wanted and naturally attracted to you. Also, leave the mobile phones out of your date nights (or at least stop constantly checking it); everything else can wait! “The key is to pay attention to your mate,” says Paget.
This is great but having two kids around this date seems impossible for us since we don’t have anybody to look after them for a while we are out for a date. Also we have had our first dates during courting stage in the Philippines and as much as I wanted to go back to the places where we went, that is another big impossible to do because it costs a lot of money, lol.
2. Wear his cologne.
You love how he smells, so why shouldn’t you be treated to that masculine scent all day long? Research shows that smelling your man is actually an aphrodisiac. According to researchers at the Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender and Reproduction, the scent of a man’s cologne can significantly increase a woman’s arousal. “[Smelling your man’s cologne] will certainly help put you in the mood,” says Cynthia Graham, Ph.D., one of the researchers.
So the next time you’re missing your man or if he is away for a business trip, dab a little of his favorite scent behind your ears. Chances are, you’ll be ready to pounce on him the minute he walks through the door.
I agree with this 100%. While we were still waiting for my visa to be done, we would be separated from each other for months so what I did is ask him of his shirt that he wore with his smell in it and keep it with me every night…that somehow helped me a bit and made me want him more and more!
3. Keep the TV out of your relationship.
You’ve probably heard this many times, but we feel it still needs to be reinforced in all relationships: limit your TV time as a couple. Here’s why: A research from Purdue University reveals that people who chat while the TV is blaring look at their companions 36 percent less often than they do when it’s turned off. As result, your alone time with your partner is a less satisfying (and definitely less intimate). “With the set turned off, you’ll create more opportunities for conversation and be able to focus on your loved one as you talk,” says study author Glenn Sparks.
We do have our t.v/movie time but we also find time to just talk about things… as I’ve said in number one, we do have kids and finding that “couple time” nowadays is kind of difficult.
4. Laugh together.
According to a study in the journal Motivation and Emotion, couples who share a laugh were more satisfied with their relationships than those who didn’t. And when you are more satisfied with your relationship, chances are your sex life will also be more amazing. Explains Doris Bazzini, lead author of the study: “Laughing together builds a supply of good memories. You’ll call on it later when times get tough.”
Hmmmmmmmmm we still laugh together but rarely, lol…
5. Get rid of a negative body image.
Nobody wants to get intimate if they think they’re fat/ugly/undesirable/insert negative body image here. Many times, being negative about how you look can be a downer for any relationship. The key here? The faster you get rid of all that negative body image, the better it will be for your sex life. Laura Berman, author of Real Women, Real Sex, explains that your partner won’t see your areas as problem areas until you point them out. So make sure you stop putting yourself down in front of your partner and just enjoy his admiration for your body instead!
To take it a step further, why not indulge him by dressing the part? Kick off your baggy T-shirt and unshapely pants; instead, start wearing clothes that are flattering to your body! It won’t hurt to invest in a pair of lacy underwear to help you feel sexy underneath.
I am comfortable in my own skin. I mean I still consider myself skinny (towering a height of 5’1″ and 98 lbs.) after having two children although I admit my belly is kind of soft and flabby now. Well, in fairness he still says I look beautiful (in rare occasions) when I am dressed nicely for an important day out… most of the time though I am at home taking care of the kids and well… I look just ahhhhhhhhhhh plain housewife that doesn’t care what clothes I wear or comb my hair….
6. Set the mood in the bedroom.
Venue plays a part when it comes to a great sex life. So an overly cramped, messy and dull bedroom can fizzle out whatever desire you both have for sex. “If you can do anything to transform your bedroom into something new and different, that can make a big difference,” advises sex therapist Louanne Cole Weston.
You don’t have to give your bedroom an overhaul to achieve this. Do small things like light up candles at night or invest in mood lighting to set a romantic vibe, getting silk sheets (for that smooth sensation) and also removing the junk out of your room to create more space and peace within.
Arggsss! This is so hard to do especially the candle lighting thing because we do have very mobile kids here, a 4 year-old and a little cruiser of 11 months old…. I wish to do this though when the kids are out of our house and on their own.
7. Go in for a hug.
Hugs can prove to be more than just comforting; it can also create a sense of connection and be a foolproof foreplay. Says Dr. Ian Kerner, sex and relationship counselor as well as author of She Comes First, “Studies show that a 20-second hug raises the level of the ‘cuddle-hormone’ oxytocin, which facilitates a sense of love and connection. It’s a way of bookending the day and entering the new chapter of the evening. Men need to be hugged three times as much as women to reach similar levels, so go for a full minute of hugging.”
The next time you see your guy, make sure you greet him with a nice long hug. Plus, being so close to you and touching your skin that way is a great way to get him wanting more.
Yes, we still manage to hug on his day off and when he comes home from work every afternoon. I think that’s the easiest thing to do with him and I am okay with just hugs without kissing.
8. Manage your stress.
The instant sex killer? Stress. Who has time to think about being intimate when you’re worried about everything else!
Be careful—letting stress take over your life will result in an unsatisfying relationship as well as sex life. Suggest Irwin Goldstein, MD, director of San Diego Sexual Medicine and editor in chief of The Journal of Sexual Medicine: “People are overworked and stressed. And they translate their overworked, stressed lives to a lousy sex life.”
Don’t want to fall into the rut of stress? Why not go away on a vacation with your partner. Being able to leave all that work behind will free up your mind to enjoy the time with your partner—whether out sight-seeing or in the hotel bedroom.
For me, we may be stressed in some ways but we don’t let it get in our sex life. If we feel like we are stressed then we skip a weekend without doing it then the next weekend will be more ooohhss and aaahhss, you know what I mean?
9. Eat your way to a better sex life.
Certain foods are known to help boost your sex life. So the next time you go grocery shopping, make sure you include these into your shopping basket:
Oysters and avocados. Both are high in dopamine, a neurotransmitter that triggers the part of our brain that recognizes reward and pleasure.
Fish. Contains Omega-3 fatty acids, which improve your cardiovascular health and increase dopamine.
Chili. Helps to kick-start your nervous system and gets the heart racing—perfect for after-dinner fun!
Almonds. Contain a high level of arginine, which helps to boost blood flow. Better blood flow means heightened sensitivity.
These are great foods that we usually eat except avocados because they are a bit expensive. Oysters I love the most but I can only eat them when we go out to a buffet restaurant.
10. Stay in shape.
Physical activity can be a sure-fire way to keep things sizzling in the bedroom for a simple reason—the healthier you are, the better you look and the more confidence you’ll have in your body. Plus, it’ll help you enjoy sex even more. Says Sara Nasserzadeh, Ph.D. and co-author of The Orgasm Answer Guide, “Physical fitness absolutely affects the physical intensity and quality of sex.” Also, research shows that exercise can help increase blood flow and improve your orgasms. So go on, grab your partner for a run. You’ll enjoy the treat that comes after.
Oh I missed those times when we go to a high school track and run for an hour together. Things have changed here a bit and we’re busy so we might be running again someday. Also we do have an exercise machine waiting on us in the garage, once he’s done making the garage comfortable enough to do our exercise there then there is no reason for us to be out of shape anymore.