Yesterday was a pretty busy for me. In the morning I blogged as much as I could and right after lunch I prepared the kids so we could go out to mail some stuff and ran to the grocery store to finish my first born’s school shopping. I also did shop some lunchables for her and some individually packed drinks for school on Monday. Before I could finish shopping, Megan started to be whiny and cranky while in the cart so I gave her some snacks that put her to shut her mouth. Jadyn kept pointing at toys I’m not interested in buying and would just walked away from me due to distraction of some really girly stuff in the store. I had to keep calling her just so she won’t get lost.
She got quiet then the big sister began whining too. Arggsss made me wanna pull my hair. All I wanted is get out of that store and go home. Things weren’t easy, while at the register Megan whined again and wanted to be carried while I was in the midst of putting back the bagged stuff in the cart. So I had her in my one arm and the other hand was doing the bags.
Finally, we drove back home but then the trouble didn’t stop there, Jadyn was all cranky getting out the carseat, I almost broke my husband’s grilling egg or kamado, Megan wanted to be carried again and most of all I WAS VERY HUNGRY. I’ve lost all my patience by then and just screamed at everybody. Even my husband noticed that I wasn’t in good mood.
As soon as I’ve eaten, I felt a little better and went to the study, told my husband I felt better lol because I fed my hungry stomach. Going out with two girls and do some errands is no longer fun for me. A lot of stuff need to be done before we could all go out and be ready.
Yesterday when I was lying down in our bed trying to take a nap and a few minutes my back hit the bed there was this little voice inside me just started talking to me about being so nagging and yelling so much to my first born lately. That voice was scolding me that served as a wake up call of the way I handle things around here especially the way I mother Jadyn. It made me realize that what I am doing is not right.
She is four years old and I noticed she changed a lot this time. She used to be a good, loving, sweet child and really attentive to what mommy was saying, well she is still very sweet and good girl to me but the thing is she doesn’t listen. I didn’t deal with terrible twos or threes until she reached this age. Most of the time she just ignore me or doesn’t hear anything to what I’m telling her and that upsets me. When she do that, I can’t help but raise my voice and yell at her really loud in order for me to be heard which is very very wrong and I am aware of that.
When in the mall or stores, she’d insist that I would buy her toys or whenever she sees things she likes. She wasn’t like that before. Although she insists but I don’t think it is as bad as other kids I’ve seen out there that they would throw a fit just to get their way.
Anyway, back to this little voice I had… I think it was God talking to me that I should try to minimize my yelling behavior because kids are great impersonator and hmmmmmm I can pretty much see that what I’m doing is being copied by Jadyn too. She now yells at chichang the dog and at her little sister too. Also, my husband commented on me yelling to our girl. He prefers quiet and I know it.
Eeewww I should stop this, it is very discouraging on his part. I am not like this before during our early years of marriage and I know if I won’t stop it, it will eventually set us apart or worse turn the marriage upside down. I remember two times already he told me I am becoming like my mother. My mother cusses a lot and yells at her kids all the time and growing up in our home with a mother like that IT FELT AWFUL. I don’t want to become like her in that way. Por Dios, I need to change my attitude and set a good example to my kids.
Don’t get me wrong though, I am a good mother so to speak and I take care of my kids, I love my kids with all my heart and for that I am willing to just take it easy when Jadyn tries to test my temper.
Packages have been arriving at our door step this week. While it’s good to see them I am somewhat feeling a bit guilty for spending too much lately. I may not be as shopaholic as you think I am but deep inside there is this guilty pleasure in me. So what? I deserve them all, aren’t I?
I received two packages today, one from the Firmoo glasses and the other one is from 10dollarmall.com. I tell you, those are pretty good and sweet stuff that I really love especially the sunglasses. They are all pretty and I loved my choices because they came out really good and fit good in me. Photo pictured below is just one of the ten pairs I got today, yupzie. To see more of these glasses, click on each of my blog for I posted one in each just in case you are curious how pretty the glasses are.
I tried sleeping in my daughter’s bedroom with my baby number two for a week but I guess it doesn’t work for me and the baby. We both are not sleeping very well on the carpet and only very thin blanket that keeps us from the floor. I missed our cozy and comfortable bed if you ask me. Megan for some reason cries from time to time. She doesn’t sleep straight just like when she is in her own crib.
So when she cries, I am bothered too. I wake up and couldn’t get back to sleep right away. During the day I feel very tired and no energy. I am missing those really tight sleep I get when I am in my own bed. Sleeping in other bedroom doesn’t work so I will be sleeping back beside my husband’s, lol. I thought I will be okay not being “normal” as he describe it. Being normal for us is to sleep side by side in our bed. Having a good night sleep is very important to me, not getting it for a week makes me cranky and exhausted.
Here’s one new discovery I found online this morning, the Magnetic Poetry for kids that would encourage my four-year old child to be more engaged in reading and in poetry. She loves books but it would be beautiful if she can have one of these cool high tech thingy appropriate for her age. Going to browse more on this later as my baby is starting to cry now wanting to be picked up.
Nothing is more flattering than hearing your baby’s first uttered word, “Mama”. Baby M can now say the word. Her dada must have taught her very well for she learned it very quickly at age 8 months. Babies usually find it easy to say the word, ‘pa rather than mama. Thanks to the dada for consistently teaching our baby M with the “mama” word.
It would be so unfair on mother’s side if the baby would call his/her daddy first before the mother for it is the mother that takes good care of her children, look after their needs, give them tender loving care and most of all it is the mother that attends sick children, works 24/7 without a day off, leave or compensation. But despite all these, it’s baby’s laughter that could pay back the mother of all her hardwork she’s done to her baby/kids.
My life is not easy as you think it is. I do have two kids around here and got little to no help in this house because the husband is working. When it’s his day off, I don’t want to bother him much with the kids but if it is really needed, I would ask his help.
As I am writing this, the little one is in her crib crying, wanting to be picked up by mommy. I am tired. I haven’t had a nap today. I tried getting it but before I could forget the world for a while, there she was… she woke up just when I was about to sleep. Arggssssssss! What a life!
I would be very lucky to have someone from the Philippines to help me with my kids. It would be years before my sister can come join us here but I am hopeful she will eventually can come to America. Gotta go, Megan is out of control… it’s getting annoying hearing her cry for no reason and I know full well, it is just a fake cry just to get mommy’s attention.
I had a really good break from the baby for three hours today. My first born and I went to the mall and shopped for clothes (stuff I bought mostly for me). I asked my husband if he can babysit baby Megan so I can have a break for I feel suffocated inside the house. It was also a sort of bonding with my first born, when we are at home I don’t give her much attention and I feel like she is getting jealous now.
When I go out to shop I always bring the first born with me for she is such a shopper, she would never complain if I stay in one corner of the store for a couple of minutes or if I take too long picking some clothes, she would not complain walking too much nor bug me to go home. She is my partner in shopping, I tell you.
Hundred thanks to my husband who understood his wife. Not only he babysit our second baby but he drove us to the mall also even though he didn’t feel like doing it. I only forced him because I wasn’t willing to drive to high traffic area for the fact I don’t have my DL yet. So there he went, sending and picking us up to and from the mall hehe. Lucky me for having a husband who wouldn’t say no to his wife.
Two words from my better half is what it takes for me to feel appreciated of what I did to my kids. Although at times I feel all my energy are sucked out from me yet I see the blessings and the goodness of being a mommy to these two wonderfully created human beings in my life.
There were times when I felt exhausted but I should not mind it because what I got is precious and I cannot put a price tag on them. Last night when we were about to sleep, those two great words came out from my husband’s mouth, “great mommy” just made my night. I confirmed what he said and yes, I heard it right. I was in heaven pinakalit gud! At least he had seen all the hard work and tender loving care I showed to our girls. He absolutely makes me feel appreciated, really!
Me and my kids had an early start of our day today. We left at the house at 7:30 this morning to Walmart. It is way too early and unusual for us to be going out that hour but I had to beat the rain. When I woke up it was very dark outside, dark clouds were rolling in fast as if it was ready to rain. I wasted no time and drove to Walmart, picked up the money and shopped for milk and other stuff. I doubt if we stayed an hour at the store.
After grocery shopping, I raced to the post office and mailed the package of handbags to a friend in Japan. We got home at past 9. Soon after I unloaded the grocery stuff, I turned on my computer and got back to the internet again contemplating, how did I do all that? I mean, it was too quick and I finished my errands soon without being rained on! Wooohooo… when there’s adrenaline rush, you can do things you needed to go in less than two hours.
It is amazing how I did all those things with kids in tow not having anybody around to help me out.