Not only I am mad, I also have a lot of things going on in my mind, I got this clutter that I see from time to time in living room exactly where I am right now, laundry to do, kitchen is a mess and a guy to let in the house for termite check up. Tuesday isn’t a good day for me I guess because I have my red day started today? Who knows, I don’t feel at my natural self at all today.
If there is one thing to be brag about my husband is that he is not a messy type of person. He knows how to clean up after himself. Unlike other men, he knows exactly where to put his dirty clothes and that go directly to the laundry basket. When he cooks, he makes sure that the kitchen is neat before he leaves there. He washes the dishes right away after using them to avoid the clutter.
And I am somewhat the opposite. Whenever I take turn in the kitchen, rest assured it will be a big mess as if it was just hit by a tornado. It’s because, I want to finish cooking first before tidying up. I want to do the dishes all at once and clean the kitchen counter top and leave. Or sometimes I leave the place all messy and feed myself and the baby and would just come back when I am full. I have big belly you know and standing for long hours of cooking makes my back and legs hurt so I need to sit down and eat before cleaning!
My husband has worked for FWPD for twenty years now. He has helped put criminals or bad people in a place they belong, he helped stranded helpless families, stopped a robber in 2003, been a good Samaritan to those who need his help.. I can go on and on of the good things a police officer like him have done to his community but I don’t wanna bore you with that.
There is one thing he told me yesterday that kept me thinking until now. It is something about his career. If he is gonna push through of his dream, I would gladly support him if that makes him happy. He will be paid more for it but not much but he’s got to fulfill his dream before he retires. But once he is in it, there is a possibility he works long irregular hours, works five times a day (he currently does 4 days a week, ten-hour shift) and possibly no day-off at all. I’m a little concern how it is going to affect our family, there’ll be less dada’s presence in the house that means less family time. Surely, we will miss him here.
I don’t want to be the reason of him not pursuing in taking the test, but like he said, he doesn’t wanna retire a police officer, he wants more than that, a more challenging job to help solve cases that’s been cold for a while. He said, he is going to take a test to become one and hopefully when the office opens the position, he can get in if he pass the test.
In the Philippines, for you to get promoted, you should be appointed by someone who is higher rank or position than you do. If everybody approves of your qualification and you deserve the job, you will get promoted. Unlike here in America, if you want to climb up to the highest position like in the policing, you take the test and once you pass, you’ll be promoted. That is exactly what my husband is going to do in the next several weeks or months. Hopefully, he’ll pass as I have so much faith in him, he’s an intellectual guy and I believe in him. But…….. family time will be affected… I am happy where we are at in our marriage right now… I just hope, his new career wouldn’t affect us.
Movie time and just before bedtime is our family time. Last night just before we went to sleep, we were in bed already playing with our girl a bit and we got into a quick conversation about Jadyn hitting me in my arm and I was acting hurt. I told her, “Jadyn be careful with mommy for you have no other mommy in this world, just me. Dada can find another wife but he cannot find another mommy for you but me.” Then my husband replied “Yeah, Jadyn. I cannot find a nicer mommy other than your mommy, so better be careful.” What a flattering statement he had for me. That surely put a smile on my face when I went to sleep last night.
If he was insensitive he would have easily said, plenty of women out there and that it would be easy to replace me or worse deny me being his wife. How awful is that? I feel pity for those who aren’t so lucky and married with a jerk. I, certainly have the most wonderful husband in the world.
How nice life can be if you wake up late in the morning to the smell of good cooking in the kitchen. I knew good breakfast awaits me when I wake up because the husband was up and cooked us some bacon, fried eggs with tomato and onions. Awesome, I didn’t have to do something in the kitchen. I felt lazy and tired. So minutes later I got up and start my morning warm drink, rice and the food the he cooked for us!
It’s a lazy day for us. No errands to do outside. My plan is to finish my online tasks so I can go to bed again. I always feel weak and tired maybe because of the long trip or the two-week visit to the doctors/hospital during the last two weeks of our stay in the Philippines. I’ve slept long hours since I arrived but that didn’t seem enough. I still want to sleep more which I would do after this. Happy weekend everyone!
I told my husband yesterday upon arriving home from our long flight that he is such a good husband to me and that he has been so very nice since I met him. How can I pay him back of the goodness he showed me? And he jokingly replied, “I will be nice until one year more and after I will be a bad man or any other typical husband!”. He’s kidding me I know. His attitude and behavior is proven that he truly is a good man to be with. What did I do to deserve such a man like my husband?
I came home tired only to see the house especially the kitchen counter and stove are squeaky clean almost no flaws at all. He did some painting in there, changed the old faucet, install some hangers and etc. He made it look as if it hasn’t been used for a while. When I went to the living room, it was all neat and organized, moved on to the bedroom, the bed was inviting, sheets are clean and electric blanket is ready to be used…he even vacuumed the entire carpeted floor and lastly, he installed a new remote controlled thingy in the toilet that would give you warm toilet bowl, washes/ dries your bottom in just a push of a button. So lucky wife I am here wowwwww! Truly I am fortunate to have married such a man that thinks of his family first before others!
I had the most terrible dream just before I woke this morning. I didn’t know how to react whether to be mad or to be thankful when I was finally awaken by the daylight and from my husband’s little movement when he got up from bed for I was just so mad at him in my dream.
We were in the nicest island in the Philippines for a vacation, at first I enjoyed it there then all of the sudden an older woman came to us handed some paperworks to my husband, he signed the forms for adoption of my cousin in Manila- the one who posted nude photos of herself on Facebook in real life. The forms were all filled up and ready for a lawyer’s approval.
What made me so mad is that my husband did it without consulting me first whether I am gonna approve the said adoption or not. How could he do that to his wife? And I so hated that, plus the fact that this woman is the same age as me. Furthermore, he brought home the woman, in the same exact room we are sleeping I saw her there and told him to send her out ‘coz we needed to talk which he did.
Then I burst into so much anger, pounding my husband’s chest so hard, crying and sulking. I couldn’t believe myself for I was really mad as hell. I was ready to walk away from him, packed my bags and walked on the street so fast all alone by myself and never looked back… but then my mother kept up with me asking what’s wrong. I told her that my husband is fucking with my cousin, why the hell he’s adopting her for? All along I thought my husband was in love with me and that he was all into me but then why a sudden change of feelings??? And a never ending cry….
When I finally brought back myself to reality, I found myself lying flat on my back on the bed @ 8:30 in the morning… I was so mad in my dreams that it made me so upset upon waking up, I really thought it was true. They say dreams are the opposite of what is true in real life…which I agree 100%.
I know my husband pretty well, he never made any decisions especially major ones without acknowledging my presence in his life and never will he do stupid things like that in my dreams…. When I told him about my nightmare, he said maybe I keep thinking bad things about him but what was portrayed in my dreams wasn’t what I was thinking before going to bed last night. I had mix of emotions yes, but my thinking was far from being how bad my husband was…. hmmpppppp stupid dreams!!
So I share the same thoughts as my husband that is proven for sure. It feels weird when I am on the bed and he isn’t, I mean when I go to bed first before him I just couldn’t sleep tight knowing that he is not on my side. And he on the other hand, somehow felt the same way too.
An instance just like last night that proves the same. I put my baby to her bed and stayed there for more than an hour. She was on her bed and I laid down on the floor, although it is carpeted yet I could feel the hard surface against my body. I chose to stay there longer because it feels cooler in my baby’s room than in our bedroom.
Mind you, my husband was already snoring when he found out later that I wasn’t on the bed yet, so what he did, he went to the baby’s room and woke me up in my shallow dream. I jerked, I thought there was snake crawling into my body. All along it was my husband tapping my leg gently, offering his hand to me so I could stand up with the help of his loving hand. The simple gesture of his telling me to move into our comfy bed and the thought of it makes me flattered. How sweet of him to think of his wife lying on the floor haha. Love him to death, no doubt about that and I know he loves me too!
The husband asked me a question before going to sleep last night that left my face a sweet grin. I have no idea why he suddenly asked me about the trip to the Philippines while in fact earlier this year I have been vocal about it and he just doesn’t think we can make it there this year for many reasons and then last night, why?
He asked me exactly this, “When is the trip to the Philippines?” and I replied, I don’t know… and I asked him back why? He replied quickly because I am his wife daw oi. Wow flattering… Sigh! I hope that I can really fly to my home country at the end of this year for I am excited two provinces of my grandparents on both sides.
I feel a little bit guilty for yelling at my Jadyn not so long ago. I yelled so loud that it hurts my throat afterwards. She just tested my temper, she wouldn’t eat well in breakfast, she got a bunch of photographs only to scatter them on to the floor, she held food in her mouth and she sneezed it splatters all over… those things pissed me off and I am boiling inside. If I won’t be able to let it out, it’s gonna ruin my whole day so I spank the back of the sofa and yelled with all my might while she was watching me just so she knows I am very mad.
I am having a slight headache right now. It’s what I get when I try to sleep and couldn’t shut off my eyes for few minutes. I just laid down in bed and not getting any sleep at all. After half an hour maybe I finally get up for it’s hard to pretend you are sleeping while you’re not.
The reason why I couldn’t sleep is that I kept thinking of the freeway drive today. I don’t know if it’s just me who kept playing the scene of the road while I was the one driving over a hundred times in just a split minutes. Sigh! Here I am, headache and feeling a bit dizzy. Wish it is already night time so I can put myself to rest.